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The Sangriaville Community

An empowering support organization for the unique needs of women

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Disappointment happens

Posted on May 26, 2016 at 11:19 PM Comments comments (64)
Disappointment happens

The only sure way to avoid disappointment is to avoid doing anything with your life. But then that would be the ultimate disappointment.
When you step forward, you will occasionally encounter disappointment. However, if you never step forward, your whole life will be a disappointment.
Disappointment happens, and yet it never has to stop you. Disappointment, as painful as it may be, is a normal part of a rich, successful and fulfilled life.
Things are not always going to go your way. Fortunately, no disappointment has to be permanent, because you can always pick yourself up and move positively forward from it.
Right now, every disappointment you’ve ever known is in your past.
Right now, you have the opportunity to learn powerful, positive lessons from both the triumphs and the disappointments, and to find new energy for following your dreams.
Don’t take the disappointments personally, but rather, take them in stride. Then rise quickly above them, knowing that you have more and more of what  it takes to bring true richness and fulfillment to your life.
The fruition of beauty is no chance of hit or miss... it is inevitable as life.
My source of strength, my source of hope….is Christ Alone…

God is Good and He is in Contral

Posted on July 21, 2011 at 12:55 AM Comments comments (19)

How to Be Good and Mad

Posted on September 20, 2010 at 12:48 PM Comments comments (10)
Monday, September 20, 2010
Good Morning Ladies,
I received this daily devotional in my inbox today and just had to share with you. 
Have a wonderful day.
"Be angry and do not sin ..." Ephesians 4:26 (ESV)
"We should admit that we are angry, but we should never use our anger as an excuse to sin."Everybody gets angry at some time.  The only difference is how we deal with it: some people blow up, other people clam up.  Some people express it, other people repress it.
The most important thing you can do is admit you're angry.  God doesn't forbid anger.  In fact, in today's verse God says, "Go ahead and get mad."  That's a pretty easy command to follow.  Sometimes anger is a valid response to life.  In the Old Testament, God got mad.  In the New Testament, Jesus got mad.  He got mad at the hypocrites. Anger is a God-given emotion.  It's emotional energy.  If you're never upset by anything, you'd better check your pulse. You're either dead or you're not in touch with reality.
Some Christians get false guilt thinking, "I should never feel angry."  That's not only unhealthy, it's unbiblical.  God says, "Be angry, but when you are, don't sin."  We should admit that we are angry, but we should never use our anger as an excuse to sin.Isn't it amazing that we hate to admit it when we're angry.  "I am not yelling!  I am not angry!  I'm not mad!" -- and the veins are popping out!  We deny that we are angry. But the fact is, internalizing your anger does not make you a better Christian than the person who blows up. 
Either way, it's wrong and it's an ineffective way to get others to understand your point-of-view.I believe if most people obeyed this verse, we'd have a lot less depression in our society.  The number one cause of depression is repressed anger.  If you don't talk it out, you're going to take it out -- on yourself or somebody else.

Relax, Reflect, Rejoice and Renew

Posted on September 15, 2010 at 1:57 PM Comments comments (18)
Greetings Ladies...
Working on changes to our site and I found this old post from last year.  Notice the date, ladies.  I originally posted this on our old website 1 year to the date.   Wow!!! I decided to re-post on our new website in honor of our new blogging page. 
September 15
Greetings Sangriaville Sisters,
I have been working on decorating my house since relocating to Texas and my latest project is putting the final touches on my bedroom.   My plan was to create a calm and peaceful place for my rest, and eh, rejuvenation.  With that being said, I have been looking for wall hangings and pictures that convey an encouraging message, e.g. Faith, Love, Hope, an inspirational quote or scripture.  I was blessed to come across exactly what I was looking for about 3 weeks ago in my local T.J. Maxx.
It was a wall hanging that complimented the colors in my room (purple, violet, lavendar, cream and sage green) and also blended with the wood accents of my furniture (details so important to us girls, lol) but what caught my attention and had me running to the register with my find, were these simple words:  RELAX, REFLECT, RENEW.
Those are the 3 things that I want to be able to accomplish on a daily basis so the wall hanging possessed the ultimate message and was a perfect addition to accent my bedroom.   I came home and immediately found the perfect spot for this hanging right above my bed as a reminder to release all negative energy before entering my place of peace and rest. 
A few days later, I stumbled across a devotional (I just love how God works in our lives) that provided me with a different passion for the meaning of these words and really put it all in perspective.  I wanted to share this devotional from inspirational speaker, Peggie O'Neill, with all of you and hopefully you will be blessed by her words just as I have been. 
Her devotional also gave me a better appreciation of PEACE...
Praise and thank God in all things,
Enjoy the beauty of the moment,
Appreciate your gifts,
Choose to forgive and
Encourage others.

In HIS love and mine,
You Sangriaville Sis, "Denise"

Relax…..Reflect…Rejoice…and Renewby Peggie O'Neill

There is a Danish folk story about a peasant’s dying wish. On his death bed he asked his son to promise him that he would sit alone and reflect every day for 20 minutes. The son honored his Father’s wish and he became the wisest and most respected leader in the village. One of the villagers asked him how he had become so wise. He answered, “Every day, for 20 minutes, I silently reflect on God’s love for me and I rejoice in who I am.”

When was the last time you sat quietly for 20 minutes and reflected on God’s love for you and rejoiced in who you are? Rejoice means to give joy, to feel joy, to take delight. God created you to take delight in Him as He takes delight in you. Rejoice in His glory. Rejoice in His creation. You are His creation. Every day that you are blessed to be awaken affords you the opportunity to step back, relax, reflect and rejoice in being you.

We live in a “To Do” culture. We feel guilty if we dare take time to relax and just be. We run around like maniacs: Doing! Doing! We schedule “doing” on Sundays, Saturdays and holidays. It’s as if we’re afraid to stop, relax and enjoy just being.

“Silence shows us what we should be: Society shows us what we are.” (Richard Cecil).

You can take time to relax, reflect, rejoice and renew your spirit in the morning in your bedroom, out on the porch, walking in the neighborhood or on the beach, or in your favorite chair.

Be good to yourself.  You deserve to take time to just be you. Take the old Danish peasant’s advice. Rest, Relax and Reflect on who you are, and not what you do. Rejoice inyou.

Give your children the gift of learning to rest in God's love. Help them relax, reflect and rejoice in who they are. This gift will help your children navigate through the challenges of life with a calm heart and a joyous spirit.

Promise yourself you will eliminate unnecessary pressures from your life as often as possible.  Relax go off into a quiet corner- take three deep breaths and Reflect on your blessings. Rejoice in your family. Relax with your friends; laugh, tell stories, and spend time just loving and appreciating each other. Renew your spirit, and you will have more joy and peace.

God’s loves you and your family-enjoy His peace; Love Peg

Are you a 'bag' lady?

Posted on September 15, 2010 at 1:46 PM Comments comments (63)
Letting go of old baggage lifts me up

Note:  Some the content in this blog was inspired by a women's conference speaker some years ago.  I can't remember her name at this time but the content of the message stays with me to this very day.  I hope this message is helpful to someone. Peace and Blessings...dErica

How heavy are your emotional suitcases? Unzip one of them, and examine the bricks and rocks and logs that make up the load.
Some people lug so much hurt and anger with them wherever they go, it is truly amazing that they can lift and carry it all. 
Think of the wasted energy that has been used to carry this baggage.
Perhaps someone provoked you to anger in the past. Perhaps some disappointment festered into a large chip.  Or maybe you haul a load of kindling wood that can be used as fuel for others to ignite.  Letting go of baggage (grown children still in the home, abusive relationships, etc)   The Erykah Badu song ‘Bag Lady’ serves as a wake up call to women everywhere.  None of us are exempt.
Picture the constant frowns and contorted faces that are required to sustain the effort. Next time watch the face of someone struggling with a load or large package; over the years such frowns can become permanent.  Holding on to pain, hurt, anger and disappointment manifests itself in our bodies.  This load can also give you worries, and they can lead to sickness in the body, and other ugly pains. Let it go. Holding on won’t hurt the other person. It hurts only you.  When we spend our time focusing on negative people or experiences, we end up missing opportunities and blocking our blessings.  We cannot see the future because we are too busy living in the past.  Meanwhile, the perpetrators go on living their lives; oblivious to the hurt they have caused.
In the grand scheme of things, the only thing that is stopping us…is, US.   We have no control over what others do or say to us, but we can control our reactions.
The baggage is nothing to be ashamed of.  We all have issues. 
The shame is not having baggage, it’s KEEPING it.  So…
Love will make it better.

The Three R's

Posted on September 15, 2010 at 1:45 PM Comments comments (22)
This is an article that was used in one of my Project Mgmt classes recently and I thought I would share. Just some food for thought.
The author is Denise Dema who is a Business and Life Management Coach.
Strive to be a blessing to others EVERYDAY...Your Sangriaville Sis, Denise.

Whenever we start a new year we usually go through some review in our mind of the previous year and what we have accomplished or have yet to accomplish in our life. Setting goals, releasing negative feelings, forgiving and striving for some personal growth is always on people's minds, no matter what they have experienced in life. Many times, the thought of professional and financial attainment or lack of is what a new year brings, along with all the emotional feelings that follow. When you take the honorable approach throughout your life, it will always result in other gifts coming your way without intentionally seeking them. This is why I encourage people I coach to make the three R's a reality in their lives. They are: Respect for self, Respect for others and Responsibility for all your actions. People's intentions are often not the reality that they live. It's not because they don't want to, but because they just don't have the discipline to be consistent without help from others. To change one's behavior and thought processes can challenge a person's will. Most people alone are not strong-willed enough to stick with it throughout the time it takes to attain their goal. It's never too late to start to live your life in a respectful and responsible way, so your daily interactions will be set on a positive path. So let's start with some of the thoughts and activities that are associated with respect and responsibility.

Respect for Self is a feeling of confidence and pride in one's owns abilities and worth. Having regard for one's character, and one's conduct with appreciation of one's self elevates our awareness of who we are. Self- respect is the cornerstone on which many other attributes are built such as dignity, honesty, loyalty, confidence and integrity. Feeling good about yourself, thinking enough of yourself to make decisions that will be good for your long term emotional, physical, spiritual and mental health, will improve your character and self worth. Always surround yourself with people who have your best interests involved, who care about your thoughts and feelings, who share your passions and interests and who live healthy lifestyles. Conduct yourself on a daily basis with a happy heart, engage in physical activities that are health-oriented, be polite and pleasant to others and it will elevate your own self respect. By walking the walk and talking the talk you can display the respect you have of yourself by honoring your body and mind. The person with self-respect simply likes themselves. It should not be contingent on success or a result of comparing ourselves with others. Self-respect is a given because of who we are and not because of what we can or cannot do. No one can take steps towards their goals, dreams and aspirations without liking the person they currently are.

"Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners". -Laurence Sterne

Respect for others is to have unbiased consideration and regard for the rights, values, beliefs and property of all people. To hold in special regard someone's opinions, talents and/or abilities, reflects your own values and standards. It also shares what you believe in, and in part, what you see or would like to see in yourself. By respecting others, you show the attitude of friendliness and comfort towards them. Listening to other people's thoughts, feelings and desires without judgment, allows you to respect them for who they are, and not what you want them to be. Very often, we impose our own ideas on others without being able to respect other people's inherent differences. Everyone you encounter has a unique moral fiber that has created who they are and how they think. Being able to allow others to express themselves in their own way will open your mind to different theories and information that might not be part of your mindset. Respecting other people in your personal and professional environments will encourage the same respect be given to you, in return. We show respect by speaking and acting with courtesy. Always treat people the way you would want to be treated: with civility and dignity. Ask yourself if at any time during your day: Did my verbiage or actions ridicule, embarrass or hurt other people? Become aware of how you treat people, so you can improve your behavior. Being fair minded, truthful and polite will reflect the virtues of respect and bring back to you the same positive energy that you put out to others.

"Every human being, of whatever origin, of whatever station, deserves respect. We must respect each other even as we respect ourselves" -Ulysses S. Grant

Responsibility means to accept accountability for your actions. When you make a mistake, you accept it, correct it, and offer amends, instead of making excuses. Responsibility is the ability to respond and make smart choices for yourself. Being responsible for your actions allows you to accept that everything along the way that happens to you, good and bad, has been determined by the choices you have made. You are in control of those decisions and blaming others for your situation is avoiding your responsibility. You can pretty much choose almost everything in your life; your career, your spouse, where you live, who your friends are, your social activities with the one exception of the parents you were born to. You need to make sure that you acknowledge the responsibility that follows those decisions because they are your own and not anyone else's. Personal growth develops when we are accountable because we accept the choices that we made and learn and grow from them.

People who take complete responsibility for their lives experience inner joy and control of circumstances. They are able to make better choices because they understand that they are responsible for those decisions. Take a review of yourself to see how often you take responsibility or place blame on others. Listen to your verbiage to see if you often point fingers of blame at your friends, spouse, co workers and family. Are you making excuses and shifting responsibility to others for the things that don't always go right? How many times have you said: "He/she did this to me?" You can change these negative behavior patterns by first understanding that you made choices that ultimately created these results. Taking responsibility is the first step in acknowledging that you have the control to make better choices in the future. Become proactive, not reactive, to your situations and be accountable. Acknowledge that your life is your responsibility. No one can live your life for you. You are in charge. No matter how hard you try to blame others for the events of your life, each event is the result of choices you made and are making. By breaking the blame-game patterns in your life and accepting responsibility, you will see your circumstances change for the better.

"The willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life is the source from which self-respect springs" -Joan Didion

When you put into practice the three R's on a daily basis you will start to see your life change with positive experiences. Lessons are learned and spiritual growth becomes prevalent. Don't allow the past to dictate the present, unless it honors you and your life. Start to modify your behavior to reflect actions that display respect for yourself, respect for others and take responsibility for all your actions. It's never too late to get support so you can be on a better path in your life. You do have the power to change your circumstances and the change starts the day you commit to live an honorable life.

Denise Dema is a Business and Life Management Coach who has over 20 years experience empowering individuals, entrepreneurs and business owners to attain self-defined success in their professional & personal lives. To learn more about the author and her practice please visit